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What is Masking with ADHD? Unveiling Hidden Struggles

Quick Answer

ADHD masking refers to the conscious or subconscious efforts of individuals with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) to hide or suppress their symptoms in order to conform to social expectations or avoid negative judgments and stigmatization.

As ADHD parents ourselves, we know how important it is to understand this behavior and its impact on our lives.

In our journey, we have encountered various types of ADHD masking that include:

  • Hiding hyperactivity with calmness
  • Sitting quietly at a desk without squirming
  • Responding as expected during discussions, even when feeling chaotic
  • Over-focusing on a task to avoid distractions and impulsivity

While ADHD masking can sometimes help individuals fit in and form better connections, it’s essential for us to recognize the potential drawbacks.

For instance, disguising our symptoms might lead to feelings of isolation, stress, and potential burnout. Here are some helpful tips for managing ADHD masking:

  1. Self-awareness: Understand your reasons for masking and acknowledge the emotions that come with it.
  2. Identify triggers: Know the situations that make you feel the need to mask your ADHD and plan for them.
  3. Build a support system: Connect with fellow ADHD parents and share your experiences to form a strong community.
  4. Practice self-compassion: Give yourself the grace to accept your unique challenges and work on them without self-judgment.
  5. Seek professional help: If masking becomes overwhelming, consult a mental health professional for guidance.

As ADHD parents juggling work, family, and side hustles, it’s essential that we remember our worth and embrace our ADHD traits rather than masking them all the time.

Together, we can turn our challenges into opportunities and form a supportive community to empower one another.


  • ADHD masking refers to the practice of hiding or minimizing the symptoms of ADHD through learned behaviors, whether healthy or unhealthy.
  • People with ADHD often develop coping strategies to fit into social settings and avoid shame or ridicule.

We understand that as ADHD parents, reading long articles can be challenging. Here’s a quick summary in bullet points to make it ADHD-friendly:

  • Masking can take different forms, often split into two main groups:
    1. Inattentive-type ADHD masking – e.g., pretending to pay attention, overcompensating with note-taking, etc.
    2. Hyperactive-type ADHD masking – e.g., fidgeting discreetly, purposefully limiting interactions, etc.
  • The reasons behind ADHD masking may differ:
    • For some, it’s to appear more neurotypical and avoid being judged.
    • For others, it’s to mask socially undesirable behaviors.
  • ADHD masking can have both pros and cons:
    • Pros: Improved social interactions reduced negative feedback.
    • Cons: Internal stress, negative mental health impacts, and missed opportunities for support.

As ADHD parents ourselves, we know how important it is to balance work, family, and entrepreneurial aspirations. We hope that understanding ADHD masking can help you better navigate this journey.

Understanding ADHD Masking

Section Key Takeaways
Understanding ADHD Masking Masking is a conscious or subconscious effort to suppress ADHD symptoms, varying across age and gender.
Indicators of ADHD Masking Common behaviors include hiding hyperactivity and over-focusing; emotional signs include exhaustion and isolation.
Consequences of Masking Impacts mental health and social/work life, leading to depression, anxiety, and relationship challenges.
Diagnosing Masked ADHD Masking complicates diagnosis; understanding DSM-5 criteria and discussing masked symptoms with professionals is crucial.
ADHD Masking and Comorbidity Often co-occurs with disorders like depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, complicating diagnosis and treatment.
Strategies to Cope with ADHD Masking Involves professional help, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and mindfulness; building a support system is vital.
Unmasking and Self-acceptance Emphasizes the importance of embracing ADHD traits, educating others, and rebuilding self-esteem.
Lifestyle and Behavioral Modifications Suggests mindfulness, maintaining routines, and regular exercise for managing symptoms.
Community and Online Resources Stresses the benefits of support groups and engaging with online platforms for shared experiences and advice.

Definition and Overview

As ADHD parents, we know that dealing with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can be challenging for our children and ourselves.

One aspect related to ADHD that might not be well-known is the concept of masking. ADHD masking refers to the conscious or subconscious efforts of individuals to hide or suppress their symptoms in order to conform to social expectations or avoid negative judgments and stigmatization.

Some common ways people mask their ADHD symptoms include controlling their impulses, rehearsing responses, and copying the behaviors of those who don’t have ADHD.

While this may help individuals with ADHD fit in and form better connections with others, it can also be mentally exhausting and potentially harmful if it leads to undiagnosed ADHD or a delay in proper treatment.

Differences in Masking Across Age and Gender

In our journey as ADHD parents, it’s critical to understand that masking can manifest differently across age and gender. Let’s take a closer look at how masking may vary in these contexts:

  • Adults: Undiagnosed adult ADHD is quite common since many people learn to mask their symptoms from an early age.
    By adulthood, these strategies may have become so ingrained that the individual may not even realize they have ADHD.
    These coping mechanisms can prevent adults from seeking diagnosis and treatment, which could greatly improve their quality of life.
  • Females: ADHD often presents differently in females compared to males, making it harder to identify and diagnose.
    Females are more likely to display inattentive symptoms, such as disorganization or forgetfulness, which are less visibly disruptive than the classic hyperactive traits displayed by males.
    When it comes to masking, females with ADHD may put extra effort into appearing organized, attentive, and compliant, making their symptoms even harder to detect.
  • Males: Although ADHD is more commonly diagnosed in males, they can still engage in masking behaviors.
    Males may attempt to suppress their hyperactivity and impulsiveness in social settings to fit in and avoid negative reactions. By controlling their symptoms, they might go undiagnosed and not receive the support they need.
This chart compares how ADHD masking manifests in different groups – adults, females, and males. It illustrates the varied tendencies and challenges faced by each group in coping with ADHD.
Bar Chart About Differences in ADHD Masking Across Age and Gender

Indicators of ADHD Masking

Common Behaviors and Actions

In our experience, people with ADHD may exhibit a variety of behaviors and actions when masking their symptoms.

These actions could include hiding hyperactivity with calmness, sitting quietly at a desk without squirming in one’s seat, or responding as expected during class or work discussions, even though their minds may feel chaotic.

This pie chart visually represents the various actions and behaviors people with ADHD exhibit when masking their symptoms.
Pie Chart About Common Behaviors and Actions in ADHD Masking

Another common masking strategy is over-focusing on a teacher, task, or activity to avoid distractions and impulsivity.

People with ADHD may also control their impulses, rehearse responses, and copy the behaviors of those who don’t have ADHD. For instance, they might suppress natural urges like fidgeting or stimming to blend in with others.

Behavior/Action Example
Hiding hyperactivity Sitting still in social settings
Over-focusing Zeroing in on one teacher or task
Controlling impulses Resisting the urge to interrupt or fidget

Emotional Signs

Apart from the visible actions and behaviors, masking ADHD can take an emotional toll. This can lead to feelings of exhaustion, frustration, or even a sense of guilt for trying to hide their true selves.

ADHD masking can make people feel isolated and alone, as it may feel like nobody really knows who they genuinely are.

It is essential to be mindful of these emotional indicators in ourselves and in the other ADHD parents in our community:

  • Feeling emotionally drained after a day of masking symptoms
  • Sensations of frustration or resentment towards themselves or others
  • Experiencing noise sensitivity in busy or chaotic environments

Amid the challenges of ADHD parenting, let’s remember that recognition and support from fellow parents can make a huge difference.

One of the best things we can do is to create a sense of community among ADHD & ADD parents and strive to create an environment where we feel comfortable being our true selves.

Consequences of Masking

Effects on Mental Health

When we mask our ADHD symptoms, it does more than just hide them from the outside world. It can lead to several mental health challenges.

By suppressing our true selves, we may experience increased feelings of depression, anxiety, and social anxiety. Furthermore, constant masking can contribute to low self-esteem as we struggle to meet others’ expectations.

Another common issue many of us face when masking is perfectionism. In our attempts to blend in, we may overcompensate and aim for perfection in every aspect of our lives, causing undue stress and pressure on ourselves.

Social and Work Impact

In addition to the mental health impact, masking can have severe consequences on our social and professional lives. Here’s a brief breakdown of the areas affected by masking:

  • Relationships: When we hide parts of ourselves from others, it becomes difficult to build genuine connections. As ADHD parents, we may feel isolated and misunderstood, hindering our ability to create a supportive network.
  • Work: While trying to appear “normal” in the workplace, we may suppress our ADHD-related strengths, such as creativity and adaptability. This often leads to burnout, diminished job satisfaction, and decreased productivity.
  • Entrepreneurial aspirations: Striving to hide our ADHD can be especially detrimental when starting a business or pursuing a side hustle. We may miss out on opportunities and hinder our progress by suppressing our innate talents and hyperfocus.

Remember that by embracing our ADHD as parents and entrepreneurs, we can transform challenges into opportunities to thrive.

We can work towards a more fulfilling and successful life by building a supportive community and sharing our unique experiences. And always remind ourselves that we don’t have to face this journey alone!

Diagnosing Masked ADHD

Challenges in Clinical Settings

As ADHD parents, we understand that balancing our work, family, and side hustles is challenging enough without the additional obstacle of ADHD.

Diagnosing Masked ADHD can be particularly tricky, as individuals often subconsciously hide or suppress their symptoms to conform to social expectations or avoid negative judgments.

This can lead to both underdiagnosis and misdiagnosis of ADHD and may prevent ADHD parents from receiving the support they need.

ADHD masking can manifest in many forms, and we may struggle to recognize our own or our children’s masked symptoms.

In clinical settings, mental health professionals who are not well-versed in masked ADHD may not pick up on these subtle signs, leaving individuals struggling with undiagnosed ADHD.

Diagnosis Criteria

So, how can we address the issue of masking when seeking a diagnosis? We need to be mindful of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) criteria for ADHD. The DSM-5 outlines the following criteria for diagnosing ADHD:

  1. Inattention: Six or more symptoms of inattention for children up to age 16, or five or more for adolescents aged 17 or older and adults.
  2. Hyperactivity and Impulsivity: Six or more symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity for children up to age 16, or five or more for adolescents aged 17 or older and adults.

For masked ADHD, it’s crucial to realize that these symptoms might be hidden. So, when speaking with a mental health professional, make sure to discuss any possible masked symptoms. Providing specific examples can be invaluable:

  • Inattention: Give examples of when you or your child have been subtly distracted, lost track of information, or struggled to stay organized.
  • Hyperactivity and Impulsivity: Share instances of restlessness that may have been concealed, like fidgeting while sitting still or engaging in excessive mental activity.

Moreover, opening up about your experiences, challenges, and coping mechanisms can lead to a better understanding of your situation, ultimately helping you and other ADHD parents feel seen and supported. Let’s work together to turn the challenge of diagnosing masked ADHD into an opportunity to thrive and create a sense of community among ADHD & ADD parents.

ADHD Masking and Comorbidity

Co-occurring Disorders

When we discuss ADHD masking, it’s important to recognize the common co-occurring disorders that can complicate diagnosis and management.

Some of these disorders include depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and autism. In many cases, these disorders develop as a result of the challenges posed by ADHD symptoms and the compensatory behaviors used to mask them.

For example:

  • Depression can occur as a result of the emotional strain caused by constant masking efforts or feeling like we aren’t living up to expectations.
  • Anxiety can stem from the fear of being discovered or the constant vigilance required to maintain our “normal” facade.
  • Substance abuse may develop as a means of self-medicating, with substances being used to alleviate ADHD symptoms or the stress caused by masking.
  • Autism is another neurodevelopmental disorder that can coexist with ADHD and may entangle masking behaviors due to their shared symptomatology.

Challenges with Dual Diagnosis

Having a dual diagnosis of ADHD and a comorbid disorder can pose significant challenges. For one, it may be harder to accurately recognize and diagnose each disorder, as the symptoms may overlap or mimic one another.

Let’s look at some key challenges:

  1. Mental health assessment: Accurate diagnosis can be impacted by both the overlapping symptoms of ADHD and other mental health disorders and by how cultural factors influence ADHD diagnoses.
  2. Treatment strategies: Finding effective treatments may be more complex due to the need to address both ADHD and comorbid disorders simultaneously.
  3. Emotional regulation: As ADHD can impact emotional regulation, those of us dealing with comorbid disorders may find it challenging to manage the ups and downs of emotions while navigating ADHD symptoms and masking behaviors.
  4. Compensatory behavior management: When dealing with multiple disorders, it’s crucial to identify and address any unhealthy compensatory behaviors that may have developed as a result of ADHD masking or other mental health issues.

While managing ADHD masking and comorbidity can be a complex journey filled with challenges, it’s essential to remember the importance of seeking support, understanding each disorder’s symptoms and treatment options, and embracing our unique abilities.

Doing so can empower ourselves in our parenting, work, and entrepreneurial aspirations.

This chart displays the prevalence of common co-occurring disorders with ADHD, such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and autism. Each disorder is represented as a segment in the bar, illustrating how these conditions can compound the complexity of diagnosing and managing ADHD.
Bar Chart About ADHD Masking and Comorbidity

Strategies to Cope with ADHD Masking

As adults who also happen to be parents, it’s crucial to acknowledge and address the phenomenon of ADHD masking.

ADHD masking involves the conscious or subconscious effort to conceal or suppress ADHD symptoms, often in an attempt to conform to social norms or avoid potential criticism.

Effectively managing ADHD masking in ourselves is essential to enhance our personal well-being and provide better support and understanding to our children.

Effective Approaches

One of the key strategies for managing ADHD masking in adults is to seek professional assistance. Therapy can be a valuable tool for gaining insight into, processing, and effectively managing ADHD symptoms.

Here are the two therapeutic approaches that have proven helpful for addressing ADHD in adults:

  1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): This approach focuses on changing negative thought patterns and developing strategies to manage impulsive behavior effectively.
  2. Mindfulness-based therapy: By cultivating presence and self-awareness, individuals can reduce the impact of distractions and impulsivity in their daily lives.

In some cases, medication may also be considered as part of the treatment plan, depending on the severity of ADHD symptoms and individual preferences, in consultation with healthcare professionals

Building a Support System

A strong support system is vital to cope with ADHD masking. As ADHD parents, we can:

  1. Join an ADHD support group: Connecting with fellow ADHD parents and sharing experiences can offer valuable insight and camaraderie.
  2. Connect with an ADHD coach: ADHD coaches can help our kids develop tailored strategies to manage their symptoms effectively.
  3. Collaborate with school staff: Working closely with teachers and school staff can help ensure that our children receive appropriate accommodations and modifications.

Together, we can empower our kids to manage their ADHD, making it easier for them to thrive both socially and academically.

Unmasking and Self-acceptance in ADHD

As ADHD parents, we understand the struggles of masking our symptoms and trying to fit in with societal expectations.

Unmasking and self-acceptance are essential for our mental well-being and personal growth. Let’s dive into the journey towards authenticity and how to rebuild our self-esteem.

Journey towards Authenticity

Unmasking ADHD involves the process of embracing our true selves, accepting our ADHD traits, and learning to manage our symptoms in a healthy way. To do this, we can:

  • Educate others about ADHD to foster understanding and inclusivity in our communities.
  • Practice self-love and compassion to counteract any shame or guilt associated with ADHD.
  • Focus on self-awareness, recognizing our strengths and weaknesses as well as understanding the underlying reasons for our masking behaviors.

By practicing these steps, we can gradually accept our ADHD symptoms and move towards a more authentic, fulfilling life.

Rebuilding Self-esteem

Masking ADHD often leads to negative consequences, such as imposter syndrome and self-sabotage, which can greatly affect our self-esteem.

Here are some ways to reclaim our confidence and rebuild our self-esteem:

  1. Identify our strengths and celebrate them. We all have unique talents and abilities that we can take pride in.
  2. Practice assertiveness in our relationships, allowing ourselves to express our needs and set healthy boundaries.
  3. Engage in meaningful activities that bring us joy, which can help boost our sense of self-worth.

By incorporating these strategies, we can not only unmask our ADHD but also regain our self-esteem.

This self-acceptance journey will allow us to lead happier, more fulfilling lives while overcoming challenges and embracing opportunities.

As parents with ADHD navigating work, family, and entrepreneurial aspirations, it’s crucial to prioritize our mental well-being and personal growth in this process.

Lifestyle and Behavioral Modifications

As ADHD parents, we understand the unique challenges that come with balancing work, family, and entrepreneurial aspirations.

In this section, we’ll explore some lifestyle and behavioral modifications that can help you and your loved ones manage ADHD symptoms more effectively while also fostering a sense of community among ADHD & ADD parents.

Adaptive Coping Mechanisms

It’s essential for us to develop adaptive coping mechanisms that allow us to manage our ADHD symptoms better. Here are some suggestions:

  • Mindfulness: Incorporating mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help improve focus and reduce anxiety related to ADHD symptoms.
  • Support: Connecting with other ADHD parents can provide valuable support, resources, and encouragement. Seek out ADHD support groups, forums, or local meet-ups that focus on balancing parenthood and ADHD.
  • Tips for managing executive dysfunction: Keep a running to-do list to help prioritize tasks, use visual cues like post-it notes, and set reminders on your phone for important deadlines.

Importance of Routines

Establishing and maintaining healthy routines is crucial for managing ADHD symptoms. Here’s how you can create effective routines for yourself and your family:

  • Consistent sleep schedule: Aim to keep a consistent sleep schedule for both you and your children, as inadequate sleep can exacerbate ADHD symptoms.
  • Regular meals and snacks: Ensure regular, nutritious meals and snacks throughout the day to maintain energy levels and focus.
  • Daily exercise: Engaging in daily physical activity, whether individually or as a family, can help improve concentration, mood, and overall well-being.

By incorporating these adaptive coping mechanisms into our lives and prioritizing healthy routines, we can enhance our ability to manage ADHD symptoms, not only for ourselves but also for our families.

As a community of ADHD parents, our shared experiences and practical advice can help turn challenges into opportunities, fostering growth and strengthening our support system.

This chart can compare the effectiveness or popularity of different lifestyle and behavioral modifications like mindfulness, support systems, and routines. It helps in understanding the various strategies ADHD parents can adopt to manage symptoms
Bar Chart About Effectiveness of Lifestyle and Behavioral Modifications for ADHD

Community and Online Resources

As ADHD parents, we know the challenges of balancing work, family, and personal ambitions. One way to overcome these challenges is by connecting with others who understand our experiences and can offer support.

In this section, we’ll discuss the benefits of utilizing support groups and engaging with online platforms.

Utilizing Support Groups

Joining support groups can be a game-changer for us ADHD parents. These groups provide a space for us to share our struggles and triumphs, learn from each other, and feel understood.

Being part of a support group can help us improve our social interactions with both neurotypicals and fellow ADHD individuals.

We can also receive guidance on managing our symptoms in social settings and gain insights on techniques to minimize the impacts of ADHD masking.

You may want to consider working with an ADHD coach who can offer personalized strategies and support tailored to your unique challenges. Coaches can be found through local support groups or by searching for ADHD coaches online.

Engaging with Online Platforms

The internet has made it easier than ever for us to connect with others who share our experiences. Numerous online communities are available where we can exchange ideas, resources, and personal stories, building a network of support that transcends geographical boundaries. Some popular online platforms include:

  • Facebook: Numerous ADHD-related Facebook groups exist for parents, many of which are private, to ensure a safe and supportive environment.
  • Reddit: Subreddits like r/ADHD and r/ADHDSupport gather individuals with ADHD and their loved ones, fostering a sense of camaraderie and mutual understanding.
  • Local Websites: Don’t forget to check for local ADHD organizations, as they may have online forums or discussion groups tailored to the unique needs of your community.

To get the most out of these online platforms:

  1. Be an active participant: Share your experiences, ask questions, and offer support to others.
  2. Be open to different perspectives: Everyone’s ADHD journey is unique, and learning from diverse viewpoints can help us grow and adapt.
  3. Keep it positive: While it’s essential to share our challenges, focusing on solutions and celebrating successes is vital for maintaining a supportive and uplifting atmosphere.

By engaging with both support groups and online platforms, we can build a strong network of understanding and support, empowering us as ADHD parents to thrive in our work and side hustles. Together, we can turn challenges into opportunities and chase our dreams.

What ADHDers Are Saying About Masking

I’ve been checking out online forums to see what people with ADHD say about hiding their symptoms to blend in with others. Here’s a summary of what they’ve shared:

Concealing Symptoms

Individuals with ADHD frequently mask symptoms like inattention or hyperactivity. This often involves adopting socially acceptable behaviors, such as forcing oneself to maintain eye contact or sitting still to conceal their true challenges.

Social Camouflage

Many adopt a form of social camouflage, imitating the behaviors and mannerisms of others to blend in and mask their ADHD traits.


Some people overcompensate for common ADHD symptoms, like time blindness, by being overly punctual or organizing meticulously to counteract their natural tendencies.

Emotional Masking

Emotional responses are often masked to conform to societal norms, leading to a disconnect between internal feelings and external expressions.

Energy Drain

Masking is mentally and emotionally draining, often leading to burnout due to the constant effort to appear ‘normal.’

Identity Confusion

Long-term masking can blur the line between an individual’s true identity and the persona they adopt to cope with ADHD, leading to identity confusion.

Mental Health Impact

The practice of masking can exacerbate mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression, due to the stress of hiding one’s true self.

Coping Mechanism

Masking is often a coping strategy for navigating a world that may not always accommodate neurodiversity.

Unmasking Process

Unmasking can be liberating yet challenging, involving a journey of self-discovery and often requiring support through therapy or support groups.

Societal Perception

The need for masking arises from societal attitudes and stigmas towards ADHD, driving many to hide their symptoms.

Frequently Asked Questions

How does one typically ‘unmask’ their ADHD?

Unmasking ADHD involves acknowledging and accepting one’s own symptoms rather than attempting to hide or suppress them.

We can help ourselves or our children by creating a supportive environment, encouraging open communication, and seeking appropriate resources such as therapy or support groups.

It’s crucial to remember that everyone’s experience with ADHD is unique, and the journey to unmasking will differ for each individual.

Can stimming be a part of ADHD masking behavior?

Yes, stimming can be a part of ADHD masking behavior. Stimming, or self-stimulatory behavior, is often a way for individuals with ADHD to self-regulate and cope with overwhelming situations or sensory input.

Some may start to appear more focused or engaged in their surroundings, which can be a form of masking their ADHD symptoms.

Understanding and accepting stimming as a coping mechanism can be helpful for us and our children with ADHD.

What should I know about masking ADHD in children?

As ADHD parents, it’s crucial to recognize the signs of masking in our children and understand why they may engage in this behavior.

Kids might mask their symptoms to fit in, avoid feeling embarrassed, or meet adults’ expectations.

Providing a safe and supportive environment, validating their experiences, and addressing any concerns or misunderstandings about ADHD are some ways we can help our children embrace their uniqueness and reduce the need to mask their symptoms.

What are the signs of burnout from masking ADHD?

Burnout from masking ADHD can manifest in various ways, such as increased anxiety, fatigue, mood swings, or lower self-esteem.

We might find ourselves or our children experiencing difficulty concentrating, becoming more irritable, or withdrawing from social interactions due to the exhaustion of constantly trying to hide or suppress ADHD symptoms.

Recognizing these signs can help us take the necessary steps to address the root cause and avoid burnout.

How does ADHD masking show up in educational settings?

In educational settings, students with ADHD might mask their symptoms by suppressing hyperactivity, staying silent in class, or imitating their neurotypical peers.

By doing so, they may avoid drawing attention to themselves or confronting potential misunderstandings or stigma from peers and educators.

As parents, we can work closely with teachers and school staff to create a supportive learning environment that fosters understanding and minimizes the need for masking.

In what ways do adults deal with ADHD masking differently?

Adults with ADHD may approach masking differently from children, as they have often developed more sophisticated strategies over time.

This could include carefully planning their day to manage symptoms, rehearsing social interactions, or taking on roles in which they can use their ADHD strengths to compensate for challenges.

It’s essential for us, as adults with ADHD or parents of ADHD adults, to recognize and support the unique ways in which we cope with and manage our symptoms.

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